Pain to Purpose

Pain ➡️ progress ➡️ plan ➡️ passion ➡️ purpose ➡️proclamation➡️ provision ➡️ peace + promise.  

In honor of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, I dedicate this post to my parents. Their sacrifices in coming to this country allowed us to be here today, celebrating our heritage and the richness of our culture. It’s because of them that I can proudly embrace who I am.

Today, on June 1st, we also recognize the start of Immigrant Heritage Month. As we transition between these important celebrations, let’s take time to explore our own heritage and celebrate the shared diversity that forms the unique story of America.

Everyone has a story, and I hope this can be a source of encouragement for anyone going through a tough time right now and needs a confidence boost. God doesn’t waste any experiences. From a young child to who I am today, I’ve always chosen to see the world not for what it is, but for what it could be. This journey has taught me courage, kindness, and the importance of faith over fear. Your painful past may hold unexpected purpose for your future.

Pain

Talking about past pain can be a struggle. It forces us to revisit uncomfortable memories and unearth the roots of our present. I can certainly relate. My own journey has had its many moments of pain – from childhood bullying and misunderstandings to the recent rise in anti-Asian sentiment within communities.

Microaggressions, like kids getting teased for their lunch or having their hair touched without permission, chipped away at my sense of belonging. These experiences, alongside the emotional pain my children faced, triggered my own unprocessed childhood wounds.

It was, and can be, overwhelming. 

But amidst the hardship, there’s a powerful promise from the Lord. As Revelation 21:4 reminds us, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Progress

Life has been a journey of countless tears, from moments of deep hurt to the solace of healing. Through it all, God’s presence remained constant. Looking back, I can only offer praise for where I am today, a testament to His unwavering plan, even when the path seemed obscured.

The Lord’s patience mirrors our own as parents, waiting for a child to grasp a concept that takes years to understand. He extends the same grace to us as we grow in faith.

Perhaps you’re wrestling with letting go of anger, bitterness, or resentment. Maybe you’re redrawing boundaries with a loved one who continues to cause pain. Forgiveness, for others and even yourself, might be a current struggle.

But remember, the Lord offers solace through Isaiah 43:18-19: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

He is constantly refining us, as Philippians 1:6 reminds us: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Plan

As a recovering Type-A planner, I’ve learned a valuable lesson: while we can meticulously map out our lives, the Lord ultimately guides our steps. Take, for instance, when David received a job offer as Creative Director in Orlando, Florida. Six months pregnant with our baby girl at the time, a quick “no, “I don’t think that’s a good idea” bolted out of me. Sacramento, California, felt like our anchor – our family, our friends, everything familiar. But amidst my anxieties, the Lord whispered, urging me to trust and take a leap of faith. He’s got us!

After fervent prayers and seeking God’s direction, a profound sense of peace and joy washed over me. Unexplainable joy. So much so, that our daughter’s middle name became “Joy,” a constant reminder of that pivotal moment. In my limited vision, the Lord orchestrated a perfect plan.

We may resist letting go, clinging to the fear of losing who we are. It’s a burden many of us carry. Yet, we find solace in Proverbs 16:9: “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”

His plans, as Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, are for our prosperity, not harm. He promises hope and a future, even when our own roadmap seems uncertain.

Passion: 

Passion – it’s the fuel that propels us forward, especially when the road gets tough. As a good friend says, “Faithfully Fumbling Forward”.  For me, this passion wasn’t always so readily apparent. Growing up, I was a quiet soul, the kind who readily followed the lead of others and rarely spoke up, for myself or anyone else. It wasn’t until I discovered a powerful calling to help those in need, those who struggle to be heard, that a fire ignited within me.

God instilled a newfound confidence in me during college, a boldness I never knew I possessed. Now, I’m constantly pushing myself to use my voice, to advocate for those who can’t speak for themselves. This journey of self-discovery is ongoing, but with each step, I feel the unwavering strength of my passion guiding me. Perhaps, like the words in Esther 4:14 remind us, “Perhaps you were born for such a time as this,” we all have a purpose waiting to be discovered. Maybe your voice is exactly what the world needs to hear right now.

Purpose

It’s truly amazing how a single experience, a new environment, can spark a hidden fire within us. This village, once foreign, has become a home, revealing facets of myself I never knew existed. Here, I’ve begun to see familiar things with fresh eyes, a newfound perspective that’s ignited a sense of purpose.

The road to this purpose, however, wasn’t always paved with sunshine. Perhaps, like many of us, I carried the weight of a painful past. Those experiences, though difficult, may have unknowingly been shaping me for the role I’m called to play today. As Romans 8:28 reminds us, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

God, in His infinite wisdom, can weave even the most challenging moments into the tapestry of our purpose. The vulnerabilities, the struggles, the lessons learned – they all become tools He can use to equip us to serve others and bring about positive change.

Events like this aren’t meant to merely bridge pre-existing divides. Their true power lies in the potential to spark hope, the belief that what seems impossible today can blossom into a glorious reality tomorrow.

Perhaps your purpose, like mine, is waiting to be unveiled in an unexpected place. Maybe it’s hidden within the unfamiliar, waiting for a fresh perspective to ignite its potential. And maybe, just maybe, the challenges you’ve faced in the past are exactly what God needs to equip you to fulfill that purpose for His glory and the good of others.

Proclamation

It’s easy to get caught up in the noise of the world, the expectations and pressures that try to define who we are. But the Bible reminds us in Isaiah 61:1: “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…”

This verse serves as a powerful call to action. We are called to proclaim God’s goodness, to bring hope to those who are hurting, and to shine a light/be a light in the midst of darkness.

Provision

Life can be a rollercoaster, filled with exhilarating highs and moments that leave us breathless. Through it all, one thing remains constant: God’s unwavering provision. It’s a truth that resonates deeply within me, a comforting melody that plays even when the world feels chaotic.

Sometimes, provision arrives in grand gestures – a dream job landing in your lap, a sudden financial windfall at precisely the moment of need. But more often, it manifests in the seemingly ordinary: the strength to rise each morning, the unexpected kindness of a stranger, the love of family that carries you through thick and thin.

The Bible overflows with stories of God’s provision. In the wilderness, He provided manna for the Israelites, a miraculous daily sustenance. In the face of giants, He gave David courage and a slingshot to topple Goliath. His provision knows no bounds, taking countless forms to meet our needs, big and small.

Peace

Following a journey of discovering purpose, trusting in God’s provision, and navigating the ups and downs of life, there’s a profound peace that settles within us. This peace isn’t merely the absence of conflict. It’s a deeper sense of calm, a knowing that transcends understanding, even in the face of challenges.

The Bible beautifully describes this peace in Philippians 4:7: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

This verse reminds us that God’s peace is not contingent on our circumstances. It’s a gift freely given, a constant presence that anchors us even when the world feels like shifting sand. Knowing your purpose in God’s plan can bring a deep sense of peace, a sense of being on the right path. Remember when we first moved to Florida and that peace came that I couldn’t explain? That’s the deep peace that only the Lord can give.

Promise

As we reach the final chapter of this journey, let’s turn our focus to the most magnificent promise of all: God’s promise of renewal and a brighter tomorrow.

The Bible, in Revelation 21:5, declares, “He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!'” This promise resonates deeply, especially when we see the world around us in need of change.

Weaving this promise into the themes from above: 

  • Purpose: Discovering your purpose fuels your desire to be a part of making things new, to contribute to a more positive future. This purpose can be deeply connected to your heritage.
  • Provision: Trusting in God’s provision equips you with the strength and resources to be an agent of change, drawing upon the rich cultural traditions and resilience of your background. 
  • Peace: Experiencing God’s peace allows you to approach challenges with courage and perseverance.

This AAPI Heritage Month, my story takes on a deeper meaning. Witnessing how cultural barriers are breaking down in my children’s school lunchroom, with diverse foods being celebrated instead of mocked, is a testament to God redeeming time and paving the way for a more inclusive future. This shift reflects the very essence of AAPI Heritage Month – the beauty of embracing different cultures and traditions. As an Asian American myself, I find my purpose in fostering understanding and celebrating the rich tapestry that is our world.

A message to the next generation:

To the next generation, this promise is for YOU. You are the heirs to a vibrant cultural legacy. Your voices matter, your dreams matter, and your courage to be kind matters. Remember, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Hold fast to God’s promises. Let them be your guiding light as you navigate life’s journey. Together, fueled by purpose, empowered by provision, and anchored in peace, we can all be a part of making the world a little more new, a little more kind, a little closer to the future God promises. May this AAPI Heritage Month be a time to celebrate our unique identities and the positive impact we can have on the world, united in faith and purpose.

Cheering YOU on and faithfully fumbling forward, 

Maxine 


Commitment and Marriage

Screenshot

Commitment. 💍

What a whirlwind the last three weeks have been: I’ve been unpacking and putting things together in the new house, but in the mist of it all, I lost my wedding ring. 😫😭😫 So not only have I been trying to put things away, but also turning the house upside down to find my ring. 👀

Looking in the same spots as if it would magically appear. My little bear is at the height now where she can reach drawers, even with child safety locks. Somehow she can fit her little fingers in to grab something small, so I totally thought she had reached in and grabbed it by accident and misplaced it somewhere in the house. This made me think of all the little tiny places she could have possibly placed it: kitchen drawer, trash can, in her toys, under the couch, in the couch, under the bed, in bins in our closet, in opened unpacked boxes, the list goes on. 👧🏻.When I realized it was lost, my heart dropped. I was so nervous to tell David. 😬 His first reaction, “What!?!” Followed by, “Well, I guess you have to get a tattoo on your finger then.” We have always talked about it, but it’s never happened.🙅🏻Not many know the story and meaning behind the ring, but David had designed it with much significance. The three stones represent the three years he waited until he proposed, but knowing all along he wanted to be with me. The ring is not your ordinary shape either. When we dated, we would always go out and look at shooting stars 🔭(we should go to that one day again), so the ring is shaped like shooting star. 🌠Besides the make of the ring, it also reminds me of our wedding vows and the covenant of marriage we made with one another. 👰🏻🤵🏻.

For three weeks, I’ve had many sleepless nights and headaches 🤕😴 wondering where in the world could it be. I asked the Lord to provide the peace I need if it’s truly gone gone. 🙇🏻‍♀️.Then, as luck would have it, two weeks after I lost my ring, we went to a birthday party at a water park… David lost his! 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♂️He actually even felt it slip off his finger into the water. We went to the water park office and gave them all our 411 if it ever showed up. They told us that they have scuba divers that go in once a week to look for lost items and even found someone’s gold earrings once. So we were hopeful. 🙏🏼.Last night I prayed fervently for the Lord to bring me peace once again and for it to miraculously turn up. There is so much wrapped up in losing your wedding ring. 💍Memories, meaning, and more. And honestly, it’s really not about the ring. It’s about the commitment it signifies. Our covenantal commitment to love, serve and sacrifice for the other for all of our days. ❤❤❤.

But, regardless, I rested in the truth that He knows EXACTLY where this special ring was.

THEN….This morning I was playing with the kiddos and felt something poking into my lower back. I was wearing my sport shorts with that little pocket that I never use in the back, and opened it up and lo and behold…THERE IT WAAAAAS! 😄 I was jumping for joy….yes, literally jumping for joy! 🤗🤸🏻‍♀️ Isaac even started jumping with me as Alana was curiously staring me down. Haha! My heart was so relieved. (And I thought I had checked every little pocket I had). .It just happens to our 10 year anniversary coming up in August this year and I am reminded of the triumphs and trials we both have been through, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Happy 10 years, my love. 💑 So blessed by your consistent unconditional love for me all these years. Love you! 😘 Now, maybe YOU can get that tattoo. 😉😉😉

Maxine’s 40 ways to LOVE

Thinking of ways to explore the world outside the crib 🙂

Parents posing me with their restaurant attire =) Ready to serve!

Tuesday, July 5, 2022

I can’t believe I am already here, I still remember when I turned 16! LOL…but I guess they say “time flies”! Well, it sure does…in a blink of an eye! And after having kids, I feel like it speeds up somehow. But I wouldn’t take anything back nor do I regret anything that has happened in my life so far. 

As I reflect on the last 40 years of life God has given me, I can only be thankful for all the trials and triumphs that He has placed in my life to help shape me into who He truly wants me to be. The way I was brought up, the choices I made, the people that came into my life, the places I visited, the churches we became a part of, my workplaces, my colleagues, schoolmates, neighbors, extended family members, my marriage with an amazing Godly man, my wonderful dear children, have all impacted me in one way or another to mold who I am today. 

Of course, I am always continually growing and learning. Growing up, I was always super quiet and observant, I would usually share how I felt through my actions and my words would come later. As I grew older, I started to find my voice and learn to speak up when the time was right. My confidence grew and continues to grow in other parts of my life and I love seeing how the Lord is placing different opportunities for me to practice some new skills.

I know that our days are numbered. God knows what’s next in store. I live knowing that I am only here for a moment, knowing we are just journeying through until our eternal home with Jesus. With that always in the back of my mind, I try to take each moment with intention (and some naps in between =) ). 

In all things, I have concluded that it all comes down to love and all that it encompasses. And as I write these, they are mostly for my children to pass down to the next generation (if anything were to happen to me, these are the things I want them to remember…I know so morbid, but you never know). So here is what I have learned and grown in the last 40 years. 🙂 

  1. Love God
    • We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:9). God is Love. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) If you don’t know Jesus as your personal Savior, I’d be happy to tell you more and how He can transform your life in ways you wouldn’t believe (for your good and for His glory). He loves you more than you know. He shows us how to love with an unconditional kind of love and through His strength, we are able to love even our worst enemies. 
  1. Love Others
    • Love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31). By being kind to our neighbors and others we encounter every day, we are showing them the love of Christ. We can help others out of the goodness of our hearts and put a smile on their faces. Instead of treating others in an impersonal way, we can be friendly and kind with them even when we don’t know them. The love of Christ is not only for those we know but the strangers we meet along the way as well.
  2. Love Now
    • The past is the past, the future will take care of itself, focus on what’s right in front of you and love what’s in front of you now, before that time is gone. The days are long, but the years are oh so short. 
  3. Love Joyfully
    • Think about the good in others. What brings them joy, what brings you joy? How can we joyfully be loving one another (even in the hard times)? 
  4. Love Patiently
    • Be patient with yourself, with others, with how others are growing in their own season/stage. Teens, you will also grow old one day, treat your elders kindly. Elders, you were also once teenagers, they need your patience and presence now more than ever.  
  5. Love Gracefully 
    • When you meet someone, you don’t know what stage of life they are in, what season they just went through or are going through: hormone changes, health pains, family hardships, emotional baggage, break ups, etc….. love them for where they are at, showing grace upon grace, not judgment/assumptions. 
    • “A friend loves at all times.” – Proverbs 17:17
  6. Love Respectfully 
    • Respect others’ space and place. Some people are not ready for a hug or advice…give them space to process and let them ask you when they are ready. 
  7. Love Delightfully 
    • “Fight to delight” (quote taken from my bestie). For every complaint and criticism find 3 things to praise or compliment/encourage. The news is so hard to watch, at every turn, it is usually negative or stressful, which then in turn can cause anxiety or feeling overwhelmed. How can we delight in something good around us and help make the world a better place?
  8. Love Thoughtfully 
    • Take time to think write a card/letter. Writing requires attention to detail and vulnerability. It takes more time, energy, and just overall effort than a text. Writing your love is an exercise in thoughtfulness!
  9. Love Completely 
    • “Do everything in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14) Get to know someone’s heart and intentions and not just make assumptions…usually they are not what you think. Get to know the person’s story and what makes them, them. 🙂
  10. Love Regardfully 
    • Regard other’s feelings, concerns, and thoughts. Don’t let your own insecurities get in the way of regarding someone else’s needs. Know when to say sorry and remorseful. Have true repentance. Learn from your mistakes and move on. 
  11. Love Faithfully 
    • Love in any relationship is work. People give and receive love differently as well. Learn to see how others receive love, it may be different from how you give it or receive it, but understand that in it all, they are showing their way of loving someone. 
  12. Love Peacefully 
    • Words can bring life or they can tear down. Be there for others when they need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on,  someone to uplift their spirits, someone to pray for them.
    • “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29
  13. Love Healthily 
    • Learn to love without anything in return. It is better to give than to receive. Also, learn how to take care of yourself as well. Your mental health is important and take time to see how to take care of your body, mind, and spirit. A walk, exercise, spa day, quality time with a friend, counseling, pets, art, time in God’s word, dancing, singing, music, etc….you’ll find your niche and what truly brings you joy. 
  14. Love Gratefully 
    • Be grateful for all the wonderful gifts from above that brings you life.
      Take the time to thank the person you love, even for “little” things, such as taking out the trash and doing the dishes; Thank the Lord for a brand new day…His mercies are new every morning; Thank the postman for delivering your mail, especially in the rain; The friend that came over spontaneously ‘cuz they knew you needed a shoulder to lean on; The cashier at the grocery store who had a hard day, but is still bagging your groceries. A little gratitude goes a long way. 
  15. Love Fruitfully 
    • With Love, all things grow better – showing all different types of fruit from love and the Holy Spirit – more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23) 
  16. Love Carefully 
    • There is so much pain and loneliness in the world, you can be pretty sure the person next to you on the bus or the checker at the grocery store could use a kind word, a smile, or a helping hand. Get off your cell phone and talk to them. Get to know them. Ask them how their day is going… and mean it. Remember their name.
  17. Love Mindfully
    • Listen to others well. Hear their story. You have yours. They have theirs. Everyone has a story to tell. Mindfully listen. 
    • We need to connect more deeply with our lives and the people in them, rather than living a detached, disconnected existence. It can be as simple as asking, ‘How was your day?'”
  18. Love Little
    • If you take time to look at the little things, how a spider makes his web, how mother birds feed their young, how bees make honey, you’ll see and know that God is always taking care of His creation…that means YOU too.
    • “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” – Matthew 6:26
  19. Love Big 
    • Celebrate that person when they are in your life – birthdays, graduations, marriages, milestones, job promotions, etc – it’ll come and go before you know it. 
  20. Love Gently 
    • Be gentle with your words to those around you. The saying “actions speak louder than words” also works vice versa. Words are replayed in one’s mind and thoughts over and over. Words can either help/heal or hurt. Speak words that will bring life to one another. 
    • Avoid making generalizations like “You always” or “You never”.
    • “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2) 
  21. Love Wisefully
    • If there is something you are worried about or frustrated about, look at what you can do about it (and give it up to God to take care of) and not what others should do… you are responsible for yourself and God will guide you and lead you to a place of peace and understanding.  
  22. Love Wonderfully
    • Be in awe of the wonder of life around you. God has made everything with precise details and worth. Stand in awe of the wonder of His amazing love and grace. 
  23. Love Compassionately 
    • Stop comparing, condoning, criticizing others/things…there’s enough negativity in the world, don’t add to it. Learn to show compassion, care, comfort to those around you and continue to ask God to show you how.
  24. Love Silly
    • It’s ok to be silly. Many of us need to lighten up and find ways to make each other smile and laugh more. Remember that saying…”Laughter is the best medicine.” When I see the young and elderly laughing and loving together, it’s the best! 
  25. Love Celebrations 
    • Learn to celebrate when people are thriving in where God has called them to be. We get excited when little babies take their first steps, eat their first foods, start talking….we can also celebrate ones in college who had a hard time writing, someone who was lost and now found, someone who couldn’t and now can, reconciliation with family members. Celebrate before it’s too late. 
  26. Love Forgivingly 
    • Forgive as Christ has forgiven you. You will get hurt in life, there will be hard times. Learn to forgive others genuinely, learn from it, and move on/let go. Love keeps no records of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:5) 
    • “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
  27. Love Fearlessly 
    • We have to shed our fears, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7)
    • Don’t be too afraid to talk to the stranger next to you. Be bold and fearless in sharing Christ to those around you. 
  28. Love Sacrificially 
    • We need to become less self-absorbed and more invested in those around us. Don’t shift blame and heap it on others, rather take responsibility for your own actions. Love means sacrifice when it comes to speaking your opinions. Instead of jumping on your spouse’s opinion, listen to them without interruption. 
    • There are times in marriage where sacrifice means staying quiet even when you know you’re right. If you are about to have an argument with your spouse, you could ask yourself this: “Does this really matter? Will I still care about this tomorrow?” Very likely, the answer is no. Choose your battles wisely and pick being a peacekeeper over a nitpicker.
    • There is no greater example than Jesus. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
  29. Love Kindly
    • When we love difficult people or choose to love even when we do not feel like it, we demonstrate our reliance on God and allow His power to be displayed in and through us. To love like Christ, be kind to others even when we don’t think they deserve it. 
  30. Love Deeply 
    • “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) 
  1. Love Sincerely
    • “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” (Romans 12:9) 
    • The key to being thoughtful is keeping your loved one’s interests, desires, likes in mind (making a care package, creating a date night, family nights, letting them go for a girls night/guys night, etc). 
  2. Love Openly
    • With an open heart, get to know others for who they are and not who you expect or want them to be. God is the one to change hearts, not you. Everyone has their God-given gifts and talents, you can learn from them just as much as they can learn from you. Learn to see how their gifts and talents help shape the world as well. But listen to what God has for YOU, don’t start comparing yourself to others. God’s not done with you yet.
    • God will open doors and also close doors. Sometimes He closes that door in order to open another one! He knows just what you need. Be open to what He has in store for you.
  3. Love Growth
    • God is not done with you yet. There is so much growing in life and sometimes even pruning. God knows what’s best for you in the season that you are in. Trials will come, but so will triumphs. 
    • “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4
  4. Love Pursuing-ly 
    • If you love someone, especially deeply, you continue to pursue them. Introverts, extroverts, ambiverts all need/want to be pursued. Don’t be afraid to reach out. We are more alike than different. 🙂 If you say you want to get together with someone, take time to look at the calendars together and pencil something in before you forget. 🙂
  5. Love Boundaries 
    • Know when to say NO to things so that you can say YES to the right things. It’s ok to have boundaries. This took me a long time to learn and now I am able to truly do what God’s called me to do.
    • For your love to be healthy, you must give your partner the freedom to prioritize their own needs and desires, even when that means taking some alone time to focus on their own life—their work, health, friendships, or creative pursuits. Support them well, as they support you.
  6. Love Rest
    • Know when to stop, rest, breathe and be still. Take deep breaths…it’s all going to be ok. God’s got it all under control. You don’t need to worry or fret, rest in Him and in His faithfulness/provision for your life. He is FOR you! 
  1. Love Unexpectedly 
    • Love without expectation, don’t expect anything back nor consider the fact that your affection/love is not being reciprocated. It doesn’t matter if it seems like you care more than the other does or that they don’t initiate sweet words or give complimentary thoughts like you do. Don’t mind their flaws, difficulties or past mistakes because we want all of who they are anyway, wholly and entirely.
  2. Love Unconditionally 
    • It’s not always easy to love when your own cup is empty, but God always can fill it up with His Word and use others around you to show you His love. When your cup overflows, you have more to give as well. When you love unconditionally without expecting anything, you’ll establish a special relationship. Your relationship will be pure and honest because you are not merely using another to satisfy general self-interested desires.
    • “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
  3. Love Always
    • Loving others can be difficult because they are human and you are human. But in this difficulty we come to better appreciate the quality of God’s love for us. And when we love others in spite of their lack of lovability, God’s Spirit shines through, He is glorified, others are edified, and the world sees Christ in us. Continue to press on in love.
    • “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13 

Love with your all, God will do the rest. 

In the end, there is no fear in love. Love conquers all.

Love to the max, always, 

Maxine Sudarma 

Asian American History

History. 🕰📰

Learning about our heritage and our Asian American history lately has made me reflect on the sacrifice and hardships it took for my family to be here in the United States of America. 🇺🇸

So much rich family history is imbedded in the story of how my paternal Grandma and Grandpa and my Mom and Dad got to the States, and how they came here for better opportunities and landed in the restaurant business. Their restaurants became our second home. 🍽

A picture of me and my sister showing our Asian American History
My sister and I with the staff at my Dad’s restaurant. (Age 6 and 3)

I didn’t grow up knowing much about Asian American history — only remembering the USA part of History. 

Until now

David and I recently watched PBS’s Asian American documentary and were so moved. It is so well done, and too good not to share.  It has helped me learn more about my story, it’s beauty and equally its struggles. ☺️

“Asian Americans is a five-hour film series that delivers a bold, fresh perspective on a history that matters today, more than ever. As America becomes more diverse, and more divided while facing unimaginable challenges, how do we move forward together? Told through intimate personal stories, the series will cast a new lens on U.S. history and the ongoing role that Asian Americans have played in it.” – PBS AA website

“As much as tragedy is part of our heritage here, so is possibility.” – A woman in the AA documentary. 

While watching, I found out that the year I was born the first hate crime prosecution happened, involving an Asian American. Vincent Chin’s case. My heart broke. 😔

The climate of xenophobia is now heightened with the COVID-19 outbreak. Asian Americans are now being attacked in hate crimes, victimized, assaulted, experiencing micro-aggressions, discriminated against all due to the COVID-19 outbreak. In the US, there have been over 1,700 attacks since mid-March till now. That is more than the whole 2019 year. 😢

While most Americans are staying home, trying to navigate virtual work and worrying about paying bills, Asian Americans are doing all of that while also fearing for our safety. Asian Americans should be able to do this without the fear of being bullied, harassed or assaulted. History has a way of re-surfacing itself, but we can CHOOSE whether to make a positive change and make a difference for the next generation. 💞

We don’t want to be associated with the Coronavirus, but somehow it has happened. Before, I knew that I could walk into the store, gas station, gym, etc. without worrying about what people are thinking, or living in fear. Now, before going out, I think “ok, what IF someone verbally attacks me? What IF they physically assault me? What IF, what IF…” 🙎🏻‍♀️

BUT, with all these “what IF’s,” I have to remember who I am in Christ, who HE has made me to be …. and rather ask, “How do I show Christ in these situations? What should I say to extend grace? Or not say to extend mercy?” 🤷🏻‍♀️

This can make one stressed and anxious even before going out, but instead I have to CHOOSE kindness, CHOOSE love, CHOOSE peace, CHOOSE Christ. ❤️👆🏼

Can we make this historical time be one that will shape history for the good? Can we be the game-changers? Can we show the next generation to rise up and make the change that needs to happen? Can we take this time as parents to help our children seek to understand and love others well when they go back out into the real world? How do we prepare them to be the most impactful citizens in their community? 

How do we start? Where do we begin to learn? 

Here are some resources for Asian American Heritage Month: 🎏🏮🎎

1. PBS Documentary Series on Asian American History: 📺

https://www.kcts9.org/show/asian-americans/schedule

2. United Against Hate: Asian American legislators and activists discuss what the rise in anti-Asian racism means to the community. 👥👥👥

https://www.nbcnews.com/video/united-against-hate-asian-american-legislators-and-activists-discuss-what-the-rise-in-anti-asian-racism-means-to-the-community-83427397810

3. Kids Guide to Asian American History (has different crafts and recipes to learn as well): 👦🏻👧🏻🖍🖌🎨🍽🥟

https://www.amazon.com/Kids-Guide-Asian-American-History/dp/1556526342/ref=sr_1_11?dchild=1&keywords=history+of+asian+american&qid=1589492919&sr=8-11

4. My uncle wrote a book, THEO, about accepting one another’s differences, which my 2nd graders love reading over and over. I am so proud of him! 🤗He’s been writing since I was a little girl and this is his dream come true. He’s a 5th grade teacher in the Bay Area. 👨🏻‍🏫

Here is his audio reading: https://youtu.be/yGb58dJtbKk

You can purchase here on Amazon: (makes a great gift)

https://www.amazon.com/Theo-Kenny-Lim/dp/1973780410/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=THEO+by+Kenny+lim+book&qid=1589493413&sr=8-1

Thanks for listening to me share. I hope and pray that we can all work together to make the world a better place one day — one voice, one heart at a time. Let’s try to be a little kinder to one another. ❤️

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 ESV 

“That there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” – 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 ESV 

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV 

My littles wearing traditional Chinese celebration attire.
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2020!

Pork Belly Ramen

Ramen! 🍜

Who likes instant noodles, cup of noodles, any type of noodle? The aroma of the chicken, beef, or veggie broth that fills the room and into your senses can bring back childhood memories. ☺️ I know many who grew up on these budget-friendly staple items in their home. I know I did, especially those busy nights when our family restaurant would close late or we just needed a quick go to snack. As I got older, I had to learn to make my own broth and keep it as clean as I could (this goes for pho broth as well), since the chemicals/msg in those products affected my gut health and system. I have loved learning the different styles of broth making. 

At a Japanese restaurant, a ramen bowl typically runs about twelve dollars or so. Feeding my little tribe nowadays gets a little pricy so I decided to try this asian soul food dish at home. We sure saved quite a bit! It ended up being about $2.50 a bowl and we had two adults bowls left over. Woohoo! 😄🙌🏼Leftovers for the next day. Broth is always better the next day. 😋

This is typically made with fresh ramen, but the Asian supermarket didn’t have any so I went with instant ramen. Your kids won’t know the difference. =) You can also find the pork belly at the Asian market. We got 2.5 pounds for about eight dollars. And of course I had to use the Instant Pot since we had some “hangry” ones (I might be one of them..haha). 🤣 Before the instant pot came out, this pork belly ramen recipe on the stove would take about 6-8 hours for a rich, tasty broth. This homemade broth will pump up your instant ramen game. 😁 With 30 minutes, you will be able to make it from scratch using pantry staples and veggies you already have on hand.

A lot of Asian recipes, have a few basic ingredients such as garlic, green onion, and ginger (I call this your 3G’s). OH! Can’t forget the soy sauce and sesame oil. So if you have these at ingredients at home, you can make a lot of Asian dishes and not just ramen. Yay! 🎉 Ok, so here is what you need for some delicious, mouth-water pork belly ramen, or as my middle cub likes to call it “Best Chicken Ramen ever ever”. ENJOY! 🍜😋

PORK BELLY RAMEN 

Yield: Makes for 4 adults and 3 children (or 5-6 servings)
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Need: Instant Pot (or pressure cooker), medium pot, small fry pan, tongs 

  • 2-2.5 lbs of pork belly (cut in 1/2 in)
  • 5-6 packets of instant ramen, just for the noodles, not the soup packet. (If you can find fresh ramen, taste way better) 
  • 1 package of fresh spinach 
  • 1 yellow onion, chopped
  • 6 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp of ginger, 1/2” slices (can be minced if you like to eat ginger) 
  • 5 cups of beef broth 
  • 2 cups of water 
  • 2 Tbsp of salt 
  • 3/4 cup of soy sauce + 1/4 cup of brown sugar 
  • dash of sesame oil 
  • 3 Tbsp olive oil 
  • 1/2 cup of chopped green onion (optional for toppings) 
  • 5-6 eggs (optional) 

other optional toppings: 

  • dried seaweed
  • chopped corn
  • bean sprouts
  • bok choy 
  • Sriracha
  • fish cake
  • Kimchee
  • Furikake
  • tofu 

INSTRUCTIONS: 

  1. Pat the pork belly dry and cut into 1/2 inch slices. Sprinkle salt on them. 
  2. Add the olive oil to the IP (Instant Pot), turn it on saute, place pork belly in and saute for one minute.
  3. Then, add in your minced onion and saute for two minutes.
  4. Next, add in your minced or sliced ginger and garlic. Saute for another minute.
  5. Press Cancel on your IP.
  6. Pour in your beef broth and water in the IP.
  7. Close your IP lid and press Manual on high for 20 minutes.
  8. While your broth is in the works, boil your eggs for 7 minutes (to make them soft-boiled). After 7 minutes, run the eggs under cold water so they stop cooking. Take off the shells and wait to cut them open right before plating your ramen.
  9. During this waiting time, you can also start taking out your other optional toppings for the ramen. 
  10. In your medium pot, boil the instant ramen noodles for 4 minutes and rinse in a strainer under cold water.
  11. Get your soup bowls ready by placing a handful of fresh spinach at the bottom (the hot broth will cook them), then add your desired amount of noodles over the spinach.
  12. When your IP beeps, do a quick release. Your house now will be filled with yummy broth aroma. 🙂
  13. From there, scoop out the pork belly without the broth and place in a bowl (it’s ok if you scoop out some onion and ginger with it).
  14. Heat up the small fry pan with the soy sauce and brown sugar on low heat for 30 seconds (so the sugar doesn’t burn). Place the pork belly in and stir it around for 2 min on low heat. This is what makes the pork belly taste super yummy!
  15. Turn off the stove and start putting the broth into the bowls.
  16. Place the toppings on your ramen and pork belly with a dash of sesame oil. Now you can cut the soft boiled eggs and place them carefully on top. Viola!
  17. Get your chopsticks and soup spoon ready! ENJOY AND INDULGE! 🥄🍜
  18. Have a delightful meal 🍜🤗😋. 

Let us know how your pork belly ramen recipe turned out in the comments! We would love to hear from you! 🍜

Confidence

Growing up, I remember not feeling very confident in myself and also quite shy. I had stage fright and often told “you should be more outgoing.” Needless to say, the prodding words of my parents and others around me never seemed to help my confidence. 😏

This week, our middle child tested for his new Taekwondo belt. 🤗 The entire week leading up to belt promotion he was so excited. The day came. He was ready, fed, and happy. He got on to the mat and listened closely to the testing instructions.

Confidence doesn’t always look pretty

About ten minutes into his test, seemingly out of no where, tears started falling down his little cheeks. I don’t know what overcame him, but it reminded me of when I had stage fright and test anxiety. So I thought, “maybe he’s was having the same anxious feelings I used to have.” After a quick conversation it turned out he wanted his big brother to be with him.

One of the things we love about our Taekwondo school is the character development they do with our kids. During our conversation I reminded my son what his teachers have taught him about the meaning of confidence — a “Yes I Can” attitude.

Confidently went back on the mat! Woohoo!
Big Brother helping him get his gear on while I was holding little bear.

Big brother came and watched and cheered him on. Middle cub went back on the mat and finished with confidence. I breathed a sigh of relief. Then, it was time to receive his belt (or so we thought).

The moment we were ready to receive his new belt…so we thought.

The head instructor asked to talk to me before he passed out the belts. He told me that our middle cub wouldn’t be receiving his belt because he missed the first two hand techniques while I was consoling him. My mama’s heart sank. 🙎🏻‍♀️😔 How was I going to tell him after he so confidently went back on and was so excited to finish and receive his belt? We waited a minute as his class mates names were called. Finally he asked, “Mom, why haven’t they called my name yet?”

Another deep breath. 

“Oh buddy, remember when you started tearing up and mommy pulled you aside to talk to you for a bit?”

“Yeah” 

“You missed two techniques that you were supposed to do during that time. So you won’t be receiving your belt today, but you’ll get another chance tomorrow to try again.”

“But Mom, I went back on the mat! I finished my test!”

“I know honey, but it’s like missing part of the test. I’m so sorry buddy.” 

As I held him tight, tears started streaming down his face again, but this time even harder. 😭😭😭 His face turned red. He was feeling some combination of sad, mad and frustrated all at the same time. 😫😠

Needless to say, I had not envisioned the evening turning out like this. As always, God has His reasons and timing.

That night there was a lot of consoling and cuddling. 👩‍👦 Big brother was encouraging him and reminding him that he could try again the next day. Big brother was taking his “Man of the house” role seriously while Daddy was away on a business trip. We prayed together and they went to sleep. I had to pray for my own momma’s heart as well. I had so many different emotions going on for my little cub. 🙇🏻‍♀️

Confidence building!

The next day I thought he would wake up sad and not want to go back for re-testing at Taekwondo. Unexpectedly, he woke up in a great mood! One of the first things he said was “I can test again today and get my new belt!” Praise the Lord for his attitude change! 😄🙌🏼

His mercies are new every morning! (Lamentations 3:22-23)

If my heart had different colors, it became a bright yellow, full of joy and happiness for him and his positive outlook. 🤩

After he came back from school that day, we spent some time playing and getting ready in his taekwondo uniform. This day it was even a later test so I made sure he took a quick nap in the car and ate right before.

As an added bonus, it was his turn to bring home “Pebbles” his classroom pet, which made his day as well. He said Pebbles could come watch him test today! 🤗😄 So of course we brought him!

Pebbles watching middle bear and cheering him on.

We headed into the martial art school, made sure all his gear was on and that he was set. He got on that mat and was ready! He looked over and made sure Pebbles was watching. 😅 We cheered him on and he had a big smile on his face. Confidence had filled him and he knew he could overcome his fears.

That BIG confident smile! 😀

He tested for an hour and then the time came. Would he receive his belt? Or not? We waited and then with confidence, his instructor said his name to come up and receive his belt. 😊 I cheered the loudest I have ever cheered. 🎉🤗😄🎉 I teared up, happy tears of course and this time I was the one crying. 😭😄

Receiving his belt!
Running with confidence and pure joy and happiness!
Had to of course take a picture with Pebbles and his new tiger.

As much as our middle cub has learned his lesson in all this – to keep trying and not give up, to have confidence in who God has made him to be – I, too, grew and learned as a mom and to have confidence that I was made specifically to be his Mama. I love how the Lord teaches us and continues to grow us as moms as we shepherd these little hearts. ❤️

Always learning to be more confident in who the Lord has made me to be,

Journeying with you,

Maxine

Fruit of the Spirit

The Fruit of the Spirit isn’t edible, but it tastes so good! 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23

We’ve been working with the children to help them understand what it means to have the Holy Spirit living in you; what the fruit of the Spirit produces in our lives. Ultimately finding the characteristics of Christ lived out in us.

Just as physical fruit takes time to grow, the fruit of the Spirit also takes time to grow; it doesn’t grow over night. A patient and successful gardener waits for his crop to grow. He must battle against weeds and bad weather to one day enjoy the hard work of his labor – the sweet fruit he waits for. Teaching toddlers to be patient is not easy. I remember one time when one of my sons told me, “It’s sooooo hard to wait, but I want to be patient…but it’s soooo hard.” At that moment, I took the time to sit and pray with him and ask Jesus to help him experience the fruit called patience.

Patiently waiting for the cookies to finish baking!

Getting to see Fruit takes work

We must constantly work to get rid of the “weeds” of our old sin nature in our lives that want to choke out the work of the Spirit. Thankfully, we have the power of the Holy Spirit to help us reject these sinful desires. By the Spirit’s leading, God faithfully provides a way out as we say “no” to sin.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13

As we allow the Holy Spirit to transform us in only the way He can do, He will shape and grow us to become more and more like Jesus and this is called sanctification (becoming more and more like Jesus).

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” – 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

Showing kindness by playing together with love!

God wants for all of His children to be like Jesus. The Holy Spirit is constantly working in our lives to help us get rid of our sinful nature and instead make way for the Fruit of the Spirit. I’d even argue that this kind of fruit is better than watermelon 🙂

Continue to pray for the Lord to work on your heart and what fruit of the Spirit He wants you to work on.

Journeying with you,
David and Maxine

Extra Fruit of the Spirit Materials!

I’ve included the Fruits of the Spirit lessons from the following website that we use at home to teach the kids the fruit of the Spirit and how to make it applicable for them:

It’s been great tool:

https://www.raisingarrows.net/2012/01/fruit-of-the-spirit-devotional-and-printables-for-young-children/

This is the chart we use for when we see them display a fruit of the Spirit and we mark it down. Our son gets so excited about it and has helped him be more aware of his actions to those around him.

Download the Fruit of The Spirit Chart